That warm, NERDY feeling.

It is BLISTERING cold outside. It's overcast outside, and weather channel says its 30 degrees, but I'd say it's colder than that. I can't believe it's NOT snowing. I just got back to my place after a solid 4 hours at the library. It's only a ten minute walk from my apartment, but my left foot is still numb from the walk back, it's so cold, and it's hard to type because my hands are still freezing.

The library was packed as usual. I can't believe I used to think it could get crowded at the Redlands library, because it's insane over here. People are practically fighting for work space, and a working wall outlet is worth more than gold at this point. I managed to find myself a desk and an outlet, but the problem is that the library is already a little cold because there's construction going on (my excuse for THEM not having a properly working heating system) and being next to the wall is even colder. If I hadn't decided to print some things off from the computer lab in the library, it would have become unbearable. Luckily the computer lab was a little warmer so once I snagged a computer I just stayed there for another two hours doing my work. Despite the cold inside and out, it was a productive afternoon. I picked up this physiology book on reserve that had been recommended to me from a classmate, and I think I'm in love with it. I was lucky to find it in the first place because it's in high demand with only two copies on reserve, and then I got even more lucky when I found out the nifty rule that if you check out a reserve book (which you can usually only have for three hours) after four pm, you get to keep it until 10:30 am the next day! JACKPOT!

But seriously, the enjoyment from this textbook is the reason for my title on this post. It's a thin textbook full of summarizations on all the main physiological components of all the systems. I couldn't believe it when I caught myself smiling while reading about the nervous system. I usually hate learning about electrical and chemical gradients in the cells, but this book made an action potential feel like a roller coaster ride! I don't know what it was, probably the word choices, like "surge" and "plummet". Whatever it was, it was refreshing, and actually put me in a good mood to study. Thank goodness for that, because this week's going to be a rough road.

Can't wait to be home though! This time next week I'll be glued to my big beige couch watching The Grinch and drinking eggnog!

Lost in the Fog

Today has been the first full day of fog I've seen in Edinburgh. Actually I can't remember the last time I experienced an actual foggy day anywhere. Has an interesting effect on the landscape and the thoughts that you have throughout the day. Being this close to Christmas...I don't know... I kind of like it, in a cold and eerie sort of way.

I just got back from the store, and my hands are still thawing out. The temperature is just around freezing, and the fog seems to only make the cold stick. I tried to stack up on things so that I can stay alive without going out to eat or going to the store again while I'm here, so basically food for the rest of the week. I'm waiting for the oven to heat up so I can throw a frozen pizza in there for lunch. When I mention that the food I bought will keep me alive, I didn't exactly mean it'd be a healthy diet the rest of the week, but I'm comfortable with that because it was all cheap. I did indulge in a little high-quality cocoa mix which was probably the most expensive thing I bought...I don't mess around when it comes to cocoa, as my parents know all too well.

I had my economics final today. I went right to the store after finishing it. the test was all multiple choice. Wasn't easy, but it didn't blow me out of the water either, which I'm thankful for. I was actually a little surprised because all of the microeconomics questions were taken from previous exams that had been available to us, so that was obviously the easy part since I'd worked over all the past exams. Macro was a little more challenging, but we'll see how it panned out.

I'm amazed at how quickly the days fly by. I just spoke to one of my flat mates who told me that his sleeping pattern has flopped because of finals and his work so that he can't even remember when he last saw daylight. I mean its dark until 9 am and dark again by four, it's ridiculous. But at this point it seems like everything around me, even the obscenely shorter days, just means its closer to the holidays, and it doesn't bother me all that much. Christmas lights look better in the dark anyway.

I've been stressing out trying to keep my spending down but also trying to buy christmas presents for everyone before I leave. I have to remind myself every so often that it isn't about the gifts. I guess that's a good thing because I've always been terrible when it comes to christmas shopping. I never plan it right and it always takes forever because I can never find just what I want for the people I'm buying gifts for... though most of the time I don't even know what to get, just that I can't seem to find whatever it is. Having the thoughtful touch to buy the perfect gifts for the people I care about isn't my strong suit. I should hate christmas shopping, and most of the time I do, but there's just something about it that I love when I stop to look around me. The lights, the music, doing something with the family, watching other families...it's the part of the trip that isn't spent actually buying stuff that really makes christmas shopping an enjoyable experience.

For me at least, that experience helps me get over the fact that no matter how hard I try, most of the gifts I buy will be completely superficial and maybe never used. I mean think about it, how many christmas presents that you recieved over the years actually stick out in your memory? I used to get a pretty good amount of gifts when I was younger, being a spoiled only child (thanks mom and dad haha) but I hardly remember any of those. Most of it just ends up covered with dust, stuck under the bed or in storage and eventually sold at a garage sale or at goodwill. It ends up going from gift to just... stuff.

But every once in a while, you get lucky. Every once in a while you get that present that you didn't expect and end up loving, or something seemingly inconspicuous that you end up using over and over. Every once in a while you find the perfect gift for somebody and you know you hit the jackpot when you see the look on their faces as they tear away the wrapping. It makes the other stuff worth it, because you had to dig through all that worthless sand to find the buried treasure. And as I've gotten older, the gifts become fewer, you finally come to grips with your beliefs on Santa Claus, but the gifts you do recieve make more of an impact. I've remembered more Christmas gifts I've recieved in the last five years than in the previous 16 years, and I still charish a lot of them today.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, maybe I'm just rambling. It's sort of how my thoughtprocesses have been concerning christmas this year, all tangled up and lost in the fog. Maybe I'm just trying to reiterate the idea that Christmas is...just a little bit...about the presents, but only because of the heart and thought that are put into them. Even the gifts that become "stuff" can have special meaning if they light up your face for just one day.

Alright, I'm done, my pizza's getting cold. Can't wait to be home!

The Christmas Ceilidh!!

What is a Ceilidh, you ask? Good question. How do you even pronounce it? Even better question. I was wondering the same thing when I found out that this was the title of the last party that my study-abroad program would be hosting before we left to come back home, and by the length of this post, you know it's going to be as interesting as it's name.

Turns out that Ceilidh is a Scottish tradition (go figure) and it's pronounced, at least I think, just like the name Kailey (kay-lee). The "d" is silent, I guess it's a scottish thing. It's a traditional dance that's a mix between the old english dances straight out of Pride and Prejudice together with country line-dancing. Basically that equals a rockin' good time. Ceilidh is also (at least in Scotland) sort of it's own genre of music, with guitars and bass and drums and all that, but usually including an accordion, recorder, fiddle, or a combination of the three.

I almost didn't even attend this rockin' good time either. I signed up the DAY after the deadline and got put on the waiting list. Lucky for me, I was able to use my boyish charm to talk up one of our directors to bump my spot on the waiting list, and ended up getting a spot. Note that "getting a spot" at these kind of events is important, at least for me, because it always means a free meal, and if you know me, you KNOW how important a free meal is.

Anyway, this function was to be held at the world-famous Belmoral Hotel in Edinburgh. It looks like a miniature Parliament Building, when you're looking down on the city at night, it's so well lit that you can't possibly miss it, AND it's only a five-minute walk from my apartment. Needless to say I was more than a little excited to finally see the inside of the place after walking by it so many times. I was more than happy to put on for the first time the slacks that I had brought solely for this end-of-the-year event, and I even managed to get my tie on straight (with some minor help from my cultured room-mate Oli).

When all of us were outside, the big group of IFSA-Butler students living in my apartment block (let's see...6 girls and me...good odds) all walked down to the hotel together, and I with my trusty camcorder (which proved to be not so trust-worthy, more on that later). We walked through the atypical revolving doors into the foyer, and though it was not as enormous as I first imagined, it was definately a beautiful entrance, with christmas decorations spread out and a big lit-up white christmas tree smack in the center of it all. It was definately the type of place that could smack an embarassing smile on your face with one look. We took our coats off after taking a few snapshots and followed our ears to the next room dead ahead, which was a lounge complete with mini-bar, piano, more christmas decorations and even a crackling fire-place.

We were ushered into a waiting room with another mini bar and a coat hanger, and a couple young girls passing out drinks. The hot cider I recieved was some of the best I've ever had, with little chunks of apple and whole clove stalks stuck right in it. It was delicious.

Sorry, I've been talking poetically about my night before the actual bulk of the night even started. Well we had dinner (which was this chicken wrapped in bacon with garlic mashed potatoes, not bad) in this huge banquet hall that had a view of the whole city, and we were waiting in anticipation for the main event, me still not knowing exactly what kind of "dancing" was going to go on. I had a feeling it would be a type of line-dancing thing, but that was just from the rumors I'd heard. Turns out it was. The live band (brilliant, by the way), had an electric and acoustic guitar, bass, fiddle (which was electric blue) and drummer, and they gave us some music to finish our desserts by before the announcer asked everyone to the dance floor. After that, it gets a little difficult to explain. We essentially listened to what he told us, found our partners (which, depending on the dance, varied from 2-6 people!) and we'd learn the dance moves. I remember them a little, and Hailey wrote them all down, so if you want to know about them, let me know and I'll find out more. It was all extremely fast-paced, with only a couple reviews of the moves before they'd start the music. This was fine though, it made it more fun. Like I said, it's hard to explain, but that's why I recorded it. I'll let the video explain ;-)


All-in-all it was a wonderful evening, like a night at the ball. I had some good times with the people that I saw first when I made it to the country, and it was awkward saying good-bye to a few of them. It was sad that it was the last event as well (and not JUST because I wouldn't get any more free meals). I don't know, this whole trip to Scotland has been a whirlwind tour, and it's hard to believe that the big finale with my program is already over. It's even harder to believe that I'm going to be home in fifteen days. I remember my first two weeks like they were yesterday. I knew this would happen, but it doesn't make it easier. I'm still ready to be home and see everyone. But one of my friends that I met here who lives just downstairs from me is going home tomorrow. Her and I had some good times, and realizing that she's actually leaving made me also realize just how much I'll miss this place and all the people I've met.

Well, enough mushy stuff, I need to go to bed. It's like one in the morning right now! ARRGGH.

P.S. Don't make too much fun of me for the video. These dances were tricky! haha and I'm extremely sorry for the poor quality. Like I said, my camcorder was not being very trustworthy OR cooperative, it kept losing focus and the lighting is really poor. I still haven't found a FLASH on the stupid thing, but I still love it. Enjoy!

Pics and Vids of St. Andrews

A beautiful, brisk morning in Edinburgh and obviously still waking up!

There's just something about waking up from a nap on the bus ride to the Scottish sun warming your face.

One of the many gems I found at the museum. Gotta follow the rules!

Couple of chaps celebrating after a day at the links. You used to get fined if you DIDN'T eat and drink after playing. Wouldn't have to ask me twice.

Old time club makers.

West Port. One of the last city gates still standing in Scotland. Like something out of another

world.

Volker and I after some excellent small town food!

The bay right outside the research facility where Volker works. If you look close you can see the ramp where they launch their ONE boat haha.

View of the Cathedral from the pathway (the water was right behind me)

Awesome Ivy House

A parting shot overlooking one end of the Old Course.

Dreaming

I'll go ahead and say it....my trip to St. Andrews was probably one of the best ideas I've had since I've been here. The moment I stepped off that bus and saw the big white letters marking that I was indeed in the home town of golf, I couldn't believe how lucky I was. For only eleven pounds, I was able to take a quiet, sunny, and relaxing 2 hour bus ride to a freezing cold paradise. I admit I got some shut eye on the bus ride (I had to get up at seven to make the bus I wanted) but the surprising cold sure woke me up. I got there a few hours before my scheduled lunch date, and I had pre-arranged trying to find the Old Course and taking a look around the museum early. The problem was that I never bothered to look up where the course was in relation to the bus stop, the reason being that when I spoke to a friend of mine who had traveled to St. Andrews before, she claimed that "I wouldn't be able to miss it". I don't remember ever being so lost with such a wide grin on my face. The sun was shining and I was in St. Andrews, Scotland. Nothing could go wrong. I walked to the corner, and there, right in front of me was a big sign with an arrow pointing in the direction of "Old Course", so I just followed the street until I got to a round-about. Once again, there was another sign pointing me which way to go. It was as if they knew I was coming. Although, even if they hadn't had a sign, I would have known I was getting close because that whole street corner was covered with golf shops. I went to the nearest one, trying to find a way in. The door on my side of the street appeared boarded up, but it was 10:30 am so I knew they had to be open. I walked around the corner and almost fell over. Right in front of me was what I had been looking for. The cafes and shops went on for a short ways and then opened up to nothing but grass and ocean, and I knew this was where I was meant to go. I then knew what my friend had meant when she said I wouldn't be able to miss it, and right then I thought to myself, "why didn't I come to school HERE?!"

I haven't been so close to the ocean since I left home for Scotland. Edinburgh goes right up to the water, but I've never taken the time to actually go to it, and I hear it isn't that great. So like I said, it was the first time I'd been actually CLOSE to the beach in months. It was clear and cold and exactly what I had been hoping for. The course is RIGHT on the water, and let me point out that seeing this place on television during the British Open is not even CLOSE to the real thing. The grass goes on for miles, and it was so dead and deserted (I think I saw one person running with a bag of clubs across the empty fairway) that I almost couldn't believe I was at the same course where my idols have played, where Tiger Woods proved his domination of the game, and where golf started. If it had been a little warmer, I may have mistaken the place for Heaven.

When I regained my senses, I noticed a rather inconspicuous building hiding behind a hill that I probably would have missed completely if there weren't big letters on the side of it that grabbed me like a fish on a hook, "British Golf Museum". I won't go into much detail here, it would take far too long, but I will say that my golf nerd came out a little bit because I was in the place for three hours. I also got to putt around a little bit using a pure wodden putter and a gutta-percha golf ball from like the 19th century. It was a lot of fun, and I have to say that I got pretty excited and grossed out at the same time when I saw the sweat-lined hat Tiger Woods wore when he won the 2005 British open just behind a thin pane of glass. As I was walking around, I got hit with another wave of amazement at where I was. I wasn't just in a random golf museum. I was in a golf museum in the place where it all started! I couldn't get my head around it. There was this section on the construction of early golf balls in like the 18th and 19th centuries, and a voice that kept repeating a short little bio on it. It got annoying after a while, because it echoed through the whole museum, but at one point it said that the first golf-ball maker lived and worked just a few hundred yards from where I was standing. For any avid golfer or lover of the game, you can imagine how cool that must feel, and that's how I was feeling. I ate it all up, and I was almost sad to leave to go and find my professor for our lunch date at 1:30.

Just a reminder, this is the professor that's friends with people I know and respect from two aspects of my life. Volker Deecke is his name, and he knows my old pastor Lefty from my home town because he was a naturalist on a cruise that Lefty and his wife took. Volker also knows my very favorite professor at Redlands because they both earned their masters degrees from British Columbia. Anyway, it got a little stressful around the time we were aiming to meet up, because even though I found out where I needed to go, he wasn't answering his cell phone. Luckily he called me from his office phone just before he left for our meeting spot, so it all worked out. I think we were equally excited to meet each other, and in my opinion we hit it off right off the bat for no other reason than knowing the same two people, and that was enough. He took me to this nice restaurant and bar where I got a lamb and mint burger and he got a pork burger. Who gets a beef burger in St. Andrews? Not us! We talked for about an hour in the restaurant about how we knew Lefty and Lei Lani (my professor...another weird coinsidence that both their names start with L's, like straight of superman...Lex Luthor, Lois Lane...) and we discussed how I was enjoying Edinburgh and Scotland, what i thought of St. Andrews, and what I was studying. I found out some of his history, how he came to be in Scotland and how he came to do what he does. We discussed a few career paths, the pros and cons of research in this era of ever-improving technology, and what we would do the rest of the day. He bought lunch, and he told me about this bakery down the street with amazing fudge doughnuts, so I bought us a couple of those for dessert as we walked towards the main University of St. Andrews campus. It was small, mostly because it wasn't all in one location. Like Edinburgh and most other British universities I would assume, the buildings were spread out about the city. The size of the school is closer to that of Redlands though, only a few thousand students. Volker showed me the offices where had completed his PhD, and then took me to a small animal museum in the same building. At this point we were in a little bit of a rush because Volker had to get back to work soon, but the museum was covered wall to wall with various animal heads, glass casings with various wonders of taxonomy, even a couple whale skeletons that Volker had to (almost physically) pull me away from.

It was another fifteen minute walk to where his current office is in the Marine Mammal research facility. I've been to the Monterey Bay Research Institute, and this place where Volker worked reminded me a lot of it. Smaller than I had expected, it had a tiny garage with one speed boat in it, but a pretty sizable seal tank that was unfortunately empty for the winter. And best of all, it was right on the water.

Typical of scottish weather, the sky had become clouded over by the time we left the restaurant, began to sprinkle softly on our walk to the research buildings, and it was drizzling steadily around the time Volker had finished showing me his office with his stockpile of various scientific sound recording equipment that went completely over my head, and it was finally time for us to part ways. He gave me a route to take along the coastline that would take me past a cathedral ruin, a castle ruin, and back to the golf course all in a reasonable fourty minutes. It was only about 3:30 but it grew dark quickly. I managed to snap some pictures along the way, and managed to get back to the bus stop before the rain came down much harder. I loved the walk back, mostly because I DIDN'T get to see that much, and it reinforced my plan to go back as soon as I could. One of the best parts of this walk back, and one of the tiny bits that I'll remember most of this trip, was when I had to cross this bridge on my way to the cathedral. It was just a tiny little foot bridge that went over a little winding creek connecting the harbor where the boats were docked, and the rest of the bay. The unique thing about this foot bridge was that was able to part and lift up in order for boats to pass underneath it. I don't know why it caught my attention so much, maybe it was the size of it. I've seen similar bridges on a much larger scale that cars drive over, but never one this small, and it was so cute and funny that I couldn't help laughing out loud when I came near it. Lucky for me, there were a couple of girls around my age walking up to it at the same time, and when I laughed they gave me a couple of strange looks.

It was quite and adventure, all in all, and I can't wait to go back. Hopefully I'll have another chance before I leave in December, but if not, I know I'll be back someday. There's going to be only so much of me rubbing the trip in my Dad's face before he decides we all have to go back so as to shut me up and so that the whole family can see it. Don't get me wrong, I love Edinburgh, I enjoy the big city, and I've had a great time. But St. Andrews is a completely different kind of experience, and I got a feel for just how much living in a small town all my life has affected me. I can really see myself living in a place like that....

...Or maybe it was just because Volker told me that residents and students get big discounts at the golf course!

Weekly Routine

Wow this week....in a way, it's been no different from the last few weeks, but I think that fact that I realized it wasn't any different...made it different. I'm in Scotland, supposed to be having a great time, but I haven't been. I've been letting my school work stress me out, just going through the motions. I haven't made any new plans or done anything interesting or out of the ordinary, and I think that's been getting be down. I need to change things up a little bit, get out of this box that I've built around myself.

I'm going to go to St. Andrews next week. There's a professor there that I've been in contact with a little bit, and it's a funny thing about this guy, one of those things that makes you realize what a small world we live in. Before I left for Scotland last summer, I ran into my old pastor who lives just down the road. When I told him where I was going, he informed me that he knew a professor in Scotland who he had met on a cruise to Alaska, a Marine specialist. This in itself was an opportunity to make a connection that could possibly help my future, but that isn't all. When I was in e-mail correspondance with one of my biology professors back at Redlands, she told me of a professor SHE knew from previous research, who was currently working in St. Andrews. As it turns out, they are the EXACT SAME PERSON. I was so amazed at this discovery, I knew I had to go and see him, but as I said before, I got myself into this routine, bogged down by school and trying to keep a semi-healthy lifestyle, that I never got around to going. But that's going to change, because I'm buying tickets to go out there on Wednesday next week. I'm going to try and see him in the morning, spend part of the day with him, and if I have time left in the afternoon, I'm going to try to find the Old Course at St. Andrews where the British Open is hosted sometimes, and take a look around. In any case, it should be a fun day, and get me out of this not-so-fun FUNK that I'm in at the current moment. The only problem is I have a big Macroeconomics presentation on THURSDAY, so I'll have to get that done before I leave. Means a weekend of my nose at the grindstone, as my father puts it, but I think it'll be worth it.

In other news, the weather here has been AMAZING. if anything keeps me in a better mood, it's seeing the sun almost every day. Edinburgh is a beautiful city, and seeing it in the day time with the sun shining down on the castle, and the peaks of the cathedrals, even the ugly 1970's office buildings, definately makes me happy to be here. You get sunshine in Cali, but not these kinds of sights. I'm going to take my camera out on one of these cold, sunny days and just photograph my walks to class (which can be quite lengthy) so all of you can get an image of what I'm seeing, and so that I'll remember them. It's days like the ones lately that make me wish I had a better camera, but they'll be good enough. I really can't believe it's been so nice. From what I here from people who are from here, this is a complete phenomenon. Again, despite this lull, it makes me feel lucky to be here.

I think one of the things that's been stuck in my mind, maybe adding to the stress, I don't know, is my living situation when I get back. I've been trying to get off campus starting in January, but I'm a little nervous about it for a number of reasons. The place won't be furnished so we'll be buying stuff and borrowing stuff from Hailey's parents' garage (she's going to be my room mate). But there's a chance we'll only be there for like five months, since I'll be potentially going on another travel May term course, and it's too soon to tell what my summer holds. I've been debating with myself, with my friends, and with my parents on what I should do, and I need to make a decision soon since we're moving back in just over a month! Any ideas?

I miss you all, thanks for your support and continuing to put up with my spiratic entries.

Birthday Week

I think that one big lesson in this life is that expectations are rarely met and best laid plans often go astray. And you know that you've spent a good amount of time in this crazy world if you understand that lesson. I had a lot of plans and expectations for my 21st birthday (I've been dreaming about since I was what, 10?) and just the fact that I'm in Scotland pretty much sent all my original dreams about the big day out the window. And even the plans I made here didn't go as I meant them. But having said that, it was a very great birthday, and I've been celebrating, and will celebrate, more as the week goes on. The people that wished me a happy birthday, went out of the way to at least write to me or leave a comment on my facebook page, made it very memorable. Yes, it was a Monday, and yes I was busy writing my paper at the time, but all of that worked out, because I finished my paper, I was able to resist the temptation to party too hard on a Monday night, and it paid off. And as sad as I felt for not being able to party on my actual birthday, it was still a special day. So thank you, everyone who wished me a happy birthday, you are all very special in my life. I'm honored to have acquired so many friends, so many people that care about me and encourage me on to achieve something great in my life. You believing in me helps me to believe in myself. I've never been much of a self-motivator, so having that motivation from the people that believe in me is something that is priceless in my life, something I'll never forget.

I'll have some Paris info and pictures up soon, it's just such a time consuming task. Bear with me.

Love,
Addison

Paris!

Hey apologies, I haven't written in a while. If you're my parents or you have facebook, you probably know that I've got an essay due in a little under two weeks that's been stressing me out. On the bright side, I think I found out today that I only have ONE 1500 word essay for my econ class instead of two. But I still have to get my Physiology paper done, which is due the wednesday after my birthday. It's almost too bad it isn't due sooner, because then I could be celebrating my birthday over Halloween weekend instead of the weekend after my birthday (Mon the 2nd of November, by the way) because that weekend is a big weekend for my American friends, and it'll be hard for them to make my birthday. There's a York trip that weekend for the IFSA Butler students that I met when I first got here, and the Salzburg students from UofR are going to be in Ireland that weekend so my home school friends want to go see them. Oh well, I'll figure it out.

The real point of this post is to let you all know that I'll be in PARIS this weekend! It's a little ironic, because before I came here I had all these ideas of traveling to main land Europe, but when I was, Paris was far from the top of my list of places to stop. Yet as it turns out, it'll likely be my ONLY stop during this whirlwind three month stint in Scotland. Hitting up Germany and Italy like I wanted is turning out far more time-consuming and expensive than I originally thought, but again, that's how things go. Life's funny like that. Anyway, wish me luck, cuz I don't speak a lick of French, and I'll hopefully have some good stories for you when I get back!

Who's excited for beautiful buildings, great food, snobby but sexy french women, and a very suggestive tower right in the middle of it all? This guy.

The Force

Waterfalls in England are called "Forces". Seriuosly, can you think of a more perfect or epic name for this environmental phenomenon? I thought not. Again, I don't remember the name of this one and have to wait on feedback from my homestay family. Darn their slow responses!

Definately one of the most enjoyable, informative hikes of my life. And once again, very thankful that I had the handy-dandy video camera so I could share my ridiculous giddiness with all you folks.

Spaghetti and Egg Sandwiches

(Just a heads up, the time's a little off on this post because I wrote it last night as I was waiting for my video to finish uploading...which it never did, and I have to start over again.)

So I semi-successfully recreated by Dad’s “famous” spaghetti sauce last night for the second time, and successfully fed seven people, myself included. It was the first time I’ve made it from memory, and also the first time I made it in Scotland. This in itself is a feat, because if you’re an American and have been grocery shopping in a foreign country, you’ll know that the things you need are often named differently or taste just a little different. I say my Dad’s sauce is famous because, at least in my family, it’s what my Dad is good at in the kitchen, besides breakfast. I love my Dad’s spaghetti sauce, I think it’s the best in the world, and I’ve been to some pretty good Italian places. And it’s so ridiculous in its simplicity that I still don’t know how he does it. The sauce I made was pretty good…it was very good, but it still wasn’t my Dad’s. I think there’s just something about having something made for you, especially by a parent. It’s like the secret ingredient that isn’t really there. Whatever you call it, be it love, or magic, or genetics, this secret ingredient can make an ordinary meal extraordinary. My dad does it with his spaghetti, and my mom does it with her egg sandwiches. I used to ask my mom for an egg sandwich every morning before school (granted that she was home on a school day-that’s a different story) and she always made it just the way I liked it. Even when she cooked the eggs a little more than usual, it was still (yes, I just emboldened “still” for the second time) just the way I like it. I’ve remade both my Dad’s sauce and my mom’s egg sandwiches for myself doing the exact same thing, using the same ingredients, but it’s never been like the real thing, and it never will be. And I’m alright with that.

Today I didn’t have class. I worked out, and when I got home I had a bowl of cereal and I made myself a very delicious egg sandwich (yet again) with melted cheddar, ham, a couple of over-easy eggs in a toasted English muffin. For lunch I had a ham and salami sandwich with lettuce, cheese, and tomato. Again, delicious. And for dinner, I had two heaping helpings of leftover spaghetti with leftover sauce, and a nice big Caesar salad. At this point, I must permit myself to say that I think I’m doing pretty well for myself. I’m living basically on my own, and I like my roommates despite their drinking problems and complete inability to do dishes or recycle correctly. I’m working out, and I’m eating very well for myself, all the while keeping a pretty good budget. I split the weekly groceries with the guys, and between the five of us my cut ends up being around eight to ten pounds. That’s enough food to keep me fed for the whole week, all for around 15 bucks. I’d say that’s living pretty frugally. My overall spending has gone down since last month, just like my study-abroad advisors said it would, and it’s making me feel better. I’m still not studying enough, but my recordings are helping, and for some strange mysterious reason that is completely off-base to everything I know to be true…my textbook reading is actually somewhat enjoyable. So knock on wood, hopefully I’m not jinxing anything, but I’ve reached another point along this wild and crazy journey where I feel like I’m finally getting the hang of this European city life. I’m feeling…content. But maybe that’s just the spaghetti talking…it was a damn good sauce.

On a side note, I’ve become addicted to a new novel that I bought last summer. It’s a recent retelling of Zorro, entitled Zorro (go figure) by Isabel Allende. I know it’s a major distraction, but you know what I said about the textbooks being enjoyable? Well sometimes they still aren’t, and having something adventurous and swashbuckling to read can be a nice change of pace.

Kangaroo Falls

This was the first video that I was successfully able to load. This video is actually at the end of the day, I'll put the earlier videos up next. We stopped at this waterfall on our way to the slate quarry. It was tucked away high up in the mountains and it was so windy we almost couldn't get the car doors open. See for yourself! I found out the name of the falls, but I can't remember. I'll put it in my next post after I e-mail my homestay parents and find out where we were haha.

Off to Shap

Hey I'm leaving for my homestay weekend...literally right now. Don't know if I'll have internet access, as this is a farm town in northern England. I'll have tons of updates when I get back, but as of right now I'm offline and out of range for the next couple days. If you have to get in touch, I might have cell phone reception, but I'm not positive. I'll try to get online at some point tonight and give the number of where I'm at. Gotta go catch my train...wish me luck!

Physics Crisis

In the whole of my current college career, Physics has by far been the biggest nuisance. I didn't take it throughout highschool, saying I would take it in College. Once getting to college, I was advised and decided to put it off until my sophomore or Junior year. My Junior year rolls around and I decide I want to study abroad. But I also needed to take physics THIS YEAR because I wanted to try at the MCAT's the summer after my junior year. Taking Physics was a DIRECT factor in my choosing to come to Edinburgh to study. I wanted to go to Australia, and if I had taken Physics my freshman year, I'd be writing to you from sunny Australia instead of raining Scotland. But the Physics semesters were backwards in Australia, so I decided not to go there.

I went to my first three-hour "tutorial" session for physics on Monday. While I was there, we were informed that there wouldn't be an actual lab section any time during this semester. Essentially, the Edinburgh Physics department decided that students wouldn't need a lab component of Physics 1 until second semester. This was a slight concern at the time, but I figured it wouldn't be anything major. After all, I was taking Physics at Edinburgh, a vary prestigious research institute. But Abby was a little more concerned, and she e-mailed our Pre-Med advisor back in Redlands. She was informed that she and her physics credit from this school would be rejected if she continued with Edinburgh Physics this semester, BECAUSE it had no lab component. The fact that we will have lab in Physics when we return to UofR made no difference. So....drum roll please...if I continue to take Physics here, I don't fall behind and don't have to worry about changing schedules, but I will have to give up on my goal of taking the MCAT's this upcoming summer, and possibly give up on making it into medical school. My second option is to drop Physics altogether and take a different course. I would be almost a week behind on work for this course and put myself to their mercy, and I would potentially miss my opportunity to graduate in four years. BUT I would save myself a semester that could potentially be a waste of my time, and take a qualified physics with a lab component at a later date. Basically I'm lost. I was hoping for another couple of years to decide if I wanted to go through with medical school, and make that effort of starting a long, grueling but rewarding career in medicine, or not. Because of PHYSICS (it's come back to haunt me again) I am having to make that decision within the next DAY, pretty much.

Prayers and words of advice are accepted of all shapes and sizes. Thanks for listening, and good night for now. I'm not going to be having one.

Success...as long as the battery stays charged.

The first day of classes have come and gone without too much damage...in fact, it's been a pretty rewarding day.

I managed to JUST miss the 11:10 am bus to King's Buildings (where the sciences and my physiology class are located) literally by seconds. I watched it pull away just as I was walking up, as if mocking me with exaggerated punctuality. It was a good thing I left early though, because I still managed to catch the 11:30 shuttle to class and make it with good time left to spare. Physiology went without too much stress, though it did feel a little different being in a lecture hall with roughly the same amount of students as my Redlands graduating class. We recieved a course guide book, I managed to sit close to the front so as to pick up all I could from the lecturer with my voice recorder. I'm also happy to announce that after listening to the recording, it came through fairly clear...there is of course a lot of background white noise, some random coughs and sniffles, but I was still able to zone into all of what the lecturer was saying. The lecturer himself sounds like a great guy. His british accent could put a 12-year-old with A.D.D. to sleep, but he kept things quick and funny and fairly relaxed. He didn't pound into us that the course would be insanely difficult, he made the course-work sound very do-able which was a breath of fresh air. He also said that the course handbook was really all we needed, and though he did recommend a few optional textbooks, he said they would be most important for those going on to a degree in physiology. He told us not to rush into buying a textbook we may not need and that the library offered many copies of the books he recommended. He even went so far as to say that his first recommended book, by two authors of the names Burn and Leevey, sometimes was nicknamed, "Burnit and Leave-it".

Physiology was my only class of the day, so I came home, relaxed a little bit and ate some lunch. I then decided to make one last go at the infamous CELL PHONE ISSUE. I used some minutes on my desk phone to call Carphone Warehouse, but the reps were of course not available and I left a message. Then I decided to make the journey back to the place and demand a phone. I got in, luckily there wasn't a long wait, and even more lucky was that when it came to my turn I was set up with Amy. Of all the times I've been in that store and waited for HOURS just to speak to a rep, I've discovered that Amy is by far the best, the most accomplished, and for all I know, the supervisor of the place. She's pretty and very young to know as much about phones as she does, but when any of the other reps have a problem they always go to her. So I go up to speak to her, and (OF COURSE) she fixes my problem and sends me on my way, working phone in hand, all within ten minutes.

So needless to say, I spent the rest of the afternoon running around getting phone numbers from people and giving mine out to others, then cleaned up the kitchen a little bit. I helped my flat-mate Oli (he's pretty much the best cook out of all of us, and we nicknamed him I.C. for Iron Chef) fix a very lovely dinner of Chicken Curry with Carrots over rice.

At this point, things may be looking up. There are still a lot of unknowns, and as the days go by, I won't have the luxury of recording every one of my lectures so I'll still have to take detailed notes. I also don't know what kind of work load Econ and Physics will require of me on top of Physiology. But at this point I only have one class a day except for Mondays. If I can keep my schedule organized and keep up my study habits, I should be...(knock on wood)...

okay.

P.S. my Cell number is 07503031039 and from the U.S. it is 0447503031039

Wine, Cheese, and Rugby Tasting

Yesterday was quite a relaxing, satisfying day. It was relatively nice day, pretty dreary in the morning but it cleared up with some patchy clouds. As if this is even a big surprise, the weather is kind of funny here. Yesterday for instance, we were at the Edinburgh Sports Fields watching the girls' rugby match against...Dundee I think it was. We were obviously outside, and when the sun shined through it was very bright and warm to the point of discomfort. Then a cloud would roll through for a few minutes, and at first the clouds would be welcomed because it took the glare out of our eyes, but after a few seconds it feels like the temperature just drops about 10 degrees F. That's probably exxagerated, but the wind seems have a mind of it's own. It will very cleverly wait for the clouds to block the sun, then strike at full force without warning...then when the sun peaks through again, the wind disapperates without another whisper until the next cloud floats by.

Anyway, the rugby game itself, as I'm sure you can imagine, was very fun to watch (emphasis on the GIRLS' rugby match). The halves were forty minutes, so it did get a little dry, but then there'd be one play right in front of the stands where a girl would just get TRAMPLED, and you suddenly realize again why you came. Simultaneously though, you're cringing at the obvious pain of the completely naked blow that this girl was given. Within the first ten minutes of the match I watched a girl from the Edinburgh team give a perfect double-leg take down to the Dundee girl with the ball, and I was hooked. Then again, there were some carefully unnoticed illegal checks that were pretty brutal, and that was just girls. Imagining revieving one of those checks from a bunch of testosterone junkies that probably make up the Edinburgh guys team...yeah.

After we maneuvered our way back to town on the bus, it was time for the barbecue put on by the R.A.'s of College Wynd and Kincaids Court. This was a fun social event; I say social event rather than food event because the majority of the time spent was waiting with hundreds of other residents for your chance at the table to get your burger. Luckily a few Americans (Hailey, Abby, Geraldine, Kati, etc.) and myself were first to get there, so we didn't have long to wait, but getting a second burger was STRICTLY out of the question. Originally we had planned on the bbq being our dinner, but we soon realize that this would not suffice, so we brainstormed. Turned out that I was having an ACUTE urge for macaroni and cheese with red wine, and my idea spread pretty quickly to Chef Abigail and the rest of our motley crew. I bought all the groceries including some outside stuff I needed for around 20 pounds which was a great deal. In return, Abby made a fantastic macaroni casserole (with a slightly burnt cheese sauce) and, together with my 3 pound (very reasonable) bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, we all sprawled out in Abby's room eating dinner and watching episodes of The Office.

I'll be praying for more nights like that one. Nothing like a little good company, good food, and The Office haha
P.S. Wish me luck, because classes start........ TOMORROW! AAAAAHHHHHHH!

The Discovery

A pretty bold title, but the discovery itself is substantial enough to deserve something bold. Tonight it finally hit me just how amazing of a city Edinburgh is and the plethora of opportunities that it offers.
This brief epiphany of enlightenment came while I was at a live-band night in one of the bar-esque stages on the main square. To anyone who is familiar with Portland, this place reminded me quite vividly of the Crystal Ballroom. Very chic and old-fashioned. The building itself looks like it's hundreds of years old, church-like. Yet the inside is anything BUT church-like. There's a restaurant and bar on the first floor, an "underground" venue and bar in the basement, and two bars on the floor above along with this ballroom. It was surprisingly large for a place you could have missed if you didn't know what you were looking for. Actually, it could be exactly the kind of place you'd find if you WEREN'T looking for it. Like Alice and the rabbit hole or Aladdin and the lamp, its the type of gem you sometimes stumble upon when you're doing something completely different. This place had that type of untapped magical feel, and when I walked in with my three American friends, I knew I was in for a good time.



We listened to three bands that were absolutely fantastic. There were the usual tone glitches and tech problems, but all three of these bands had "the light". Whatever it is is that makes a person tap their foot ever so gently with the rhythm and not even realize they're doing it, these groups had it, especially the middle group. A band subtly christened "Poor Edward" was my favorite of the night, and I actually shook the lead singer's hand afterword when I was coming out of the men's room and saw him. They reminded me of another group that I've recently fallen head-over-heels for...Manchester Orchestra. The lead singers literally look identical: similar body types, similar singing ranges, similar playing style, and I loved every minute of it. One thing Poor Edward had that M.O. doesn't was a back-up-singing bass player who was without a doubt the final ingredient to making this band so phenomenal. P.S. the picture isn't actually Poor Edward but the band that played after them called "Lead By Example". They weren't as breathtaking, and a little more boyish, but still good, and I dig their band name.


(That's my boy Matt from Mass. chillin behind me in this photo).... It was while I was sitting on a stool, leaning back against the wall, surrounded by friends and 15 feet from the main stage with room to spare, that I made The Discovery. I had just paid zero pounds and zero pence to close my eyes peacefully in a half-empty-hole-in-the-wall-small-venue-ballroom and listen to pure, untapped talent serenade me in the middle of the night, in the dead center of Scotland's greatest city. And when you picture it that way, can it really be possible NOT to believe in miracles?


One plane ticket to Edinburgh: a small fortune. Nearly eight straight nights of loud, partying, drunk Scots and Americans: time, frustration, and even more money. Finally making THE DISCOVERY: priceless.

Halloween Withdrawals

So in about 15 minutes I'll be taking off for a "Ghost Tour" through the "haunted" underground city in Edinburgh, accompanied by at least three girls and meeting more once I get there, probably screaming and grabbing onto me the whole way through. In the words of a very close brother I know and love...it's gonna be RAW!

In other news, I got my video from the Arthur's Seat hike up on facebook and I'll have it up here as soon as I can. Also found out my SIM card for the phone I bought yesterday is apparently broken, so I have to be mailed a new one. These phone problems never seem to end. I definately caught the short end of the luck stick seems like, but hey, such is life.

So try not to sweat too much in anticipation of my post-ghost-tour news, I'll give all the full frightening details tomorrow probably some time. We're heading for a super fun bar called Frankensteins afterword. A perfect ending to a scary tour, right? Once again, more later.

YIKES! -apollo

Because some things are better left unsaid....

I've been getting some bad reviews since I haven't posted in a few days, and my only defense is the title of this blog. So much has happened since moving into my flat on Saturday that I can't even begin to recall it all and give it the proper justice it deserves in this blog. For a brief hint as to the ridiculousness of this past week's events... my room is already a mess, I've lost a sweatshirt, we had to mop the floor the day after moving in, and I've taken the hardest single-page math test I've ever seen in my life.

At this point the most important story is my classes. Tuesday morning I woke up at 8 am and left at 8:30 am with the girls to walk to our Meetings with our Director of Studies, or DoS. The girls' meeting was at 9:30 am since they are both in the School of Biological Sciences, and mine was at 10:30 for School of Physics. The reason we left so early was because we didn't know how long the walk would be from our apartment to Kings Buildings, where all of the Sciences subjects are located. It turned out to be a very rewarding ONE HOUR walk. Needless to say I doubt I'll be making that particular delightful stroll again any time soon. Lucky for me, there's a bus line that runs from the main square to the Kings Buildings that is free for students.
So after making it to the building where my meetings were to be held, I met a few other people, made some friends while waiting for the meeting to start, because it turned out that the first meeting would be comprised of the entire freshman class of Physics. We all piled into the lecture hall and recieved a very enjoyable combination of lectures from various professors, heads of the department, and outside physics-based organizations. Then came the math test that I mentioned. We were surprised with a DIAGNOSTICS TEST. Oh, no problem, it wasn't going to go on any of our course grades, we were just being tested to determine our skill in maths so the professors would learn how to better teach us. It was a massacre, and that's putting it lightly. I've taken three semesters of college calculus, but that test made me feel like I was in fourth grade again.

I'm not going to go any more into it because it's so painful, but the rest of the day wasn't much less stressful. We finished the main lectures around 1 pm, split for lunch and then filtered away into our individual/small group meetings with our actual DoS's. Turns out mine is an Italian physics professor who has been given charge of all of the international physics students. She was very pleasant but had a very thick accent which took some getting used to. Her English sounded like she had a whole apple caught in her larynx. So the main issue that I went to her for was the fact that I had been placed in Physiology 3. Because my actual Biology course experience is so limited, I haven't met any of the Phys 3 pre-requisites, and I know I'm not qualified to take the course. I needed to be placed into Physiology 2. She was able to do this for me, with one teensy weensy detail. On Mondays, My first class is in downtown, near where I'm living. My second class, Phys 2, which starts an hour later, would take place in Kings Buildings (the one hour walk away). And my third class, Physics, again an hour later, would take place back in town. Then on Friday, the physiology lecture and physics lecture are at the EXACT same time. So since I am not the flash, I haven't mastered teleportation, and haven't been able to figure out how to be in two places at once, it appears that my schedule is impossible. But not quite, ladies and gentlemen. My parents, bless their souls, bought me a digital voice recorder before I left. Hailey is taking physiology 2 with me, and Abby is in physics with me. Theoretically, I could give Hailey my recorder on mondays to record the physiology lecture. Then on Fridays I would go to the physiology lecture and Abby would record my physics lecture. It's hectic, and probably stupid, but what else can I do? I could drop physiology altogether and try for a different biology class. But the only other one I could take would be a Cell Bio class. Not only do I HATE cell biology, but I don't even know if it wouldn't conflict as well. Physiology 2 is where I want to be. At the same time, I'm putting the success of my whole semester in the hands of two other people, and a one-and-a-half-ounce voice recorder. I think I trust my friends more than the recorder, but what if one of them got sick and had to miss a lecture on either Monday or Friday?

So if you managed to read through this entire book of a post without falling asleep, then please comment on my situation. I'm in a state of stalemate because I've been given the classes I want, and for some sick reason, the prospect of taking an impossible schedule is a rush. But can I do it while trying to keep my sanity in Scotland? I doubt it....

Fire Alarms and Noodle Soup

Woke up about an hour after my last blog to a fire alarm blaring into my head...directly above MY bed. I was still half asleep and for some reason thought that unbelievable noise was coming from my cell phone, so I started rummaging through all my luggage trying to find the phone...or the banshee, whichever. I finally stood up on my bed and realized that it was the alarm making the noise. We threw some clothes on, and I had just opened the door to start walking outside when it turned off. So that was my night, and I can safely say I slept beautifully and peacefully for the rest of the night. I guess this is just another chestnut to emphasize my wild and wacky expedition.

It was absolutely beautiful this morning. We woke up around 6:30 and wasted time in bed for about another hour. Hailey was feeling nauseous, so she didn't want to leave the room, so Abby and I went out around 8 to scrounge for breakfast and run some errands. We found a great little hole in the wall cafe just across the street where we could sit down with a nice view of the bustling street outside. I ordered a delightful croissant with jarlsburg and loaded with bacon, all for a reasonable 3,75 (that's pounds by the way, so it was around 7 bucks. From there we roamed around various areas of town for about 2 hours trying to find this bank that Abby needed to find for free transactions. Two hotel managers and two cops later, we finally found it, and also a post office where I could exchange dollars for pounds for free. Our last stop was the local Sainsbury (the Scotland Safeway) for some noodle soup, pellegrino and Scottish Gatorade for Hailey. She's feeling better :) and so am I.

The first day's always the hardest....

And it's the truth. I'm going to try and keep this short since I can barely stay awake to write it, but I know that if I don't I'll forget to write it all down later.

After I finished my Guinness at the hotel we left to roam the city for a few hours. As tired and nasty as the three of us were (Hailey, Abby, and myself) we were not allowed to check into our rooms until later that afternoon (we arrived at the hotel around 11 am and room check in wasn't until 2 pm. The first place we hit was the castle. It's enormous, write smack in the middle of town and up on a giant rock so when you're crossing the bridge you can see the entire city. It was magnificent. Everything is just as grey as I was told it would be. The combination of cobblestone streets, thousands of double-decker buses streaking down the narrow streets, and endless overcast weather sure do drive it home that I'm not...home...anymore. Well, maybe not the endless overcast skies, because I'm pretty used to that. In all seriousness, I actually find myself enjoying the grey skies with little patches of cold sun streaming through every so often. It isn't all that cold, and when the water is coming down, it gets really nice. I was pleasantly surprised by the wind, however. Almost knocked me over a couple of times, it was very cool. As we were walking up a set of stairs in an alleyway from our hotel up to the castle, I stopped and looked behind me, out over the west side of the city with a particularly strong gust of wind bellowing in my face and nearly pulling my jacket off. I just started laughing and put my arms out, and I think that's when it finally hit me that I was really in Scotland, and I knew everything would be alright.

So we got a good chunk of time in roaming around the city, following our noses to the pubs and the bistros, finding the pointing arches of historic land marks and churches renovated into cafe's. We found the Greyfriars Church and it absolutely blew me away. I loved the interior architecture of the church, it looked like it had seen a lot, but it was beautiful. It had a fun side too because the church was surrounded by a graveyard. Wait...did I say it was fun BECAUSE of the graveyard? Actually I meant it, because they have a lot of halloween-type celebrations, "haunted" tours, and other festivities at that abbey and in the graveyard. There's actually a little cabin right by the gate into the abbey that is called "The Wee Creepy Shop in The Graveyard". How can you read that and not laugh?

Finding a place to eat dinner turned out to be a challenging task, especially since we had no idea what we were doing, what the customs were of eating out, and we were dead tired to top it off. We ended up at this Italian place in New Town that was sit-down and looked nice from the outside and was reasonably-priced (by the way everything you buy here is highway robbery. Stupid inflation....) I got some spaghetti bolognese which was decent. There were some cute waitresses there, but of course we had a balding waiter who looked at me like I was Forrest Gump trying to sit next to him on the bus. I wish you could have seen the fiasco that was we three Americans trying to figure out how to pay a Scottish-Italian waiter with three different checks using a combination of pound cash and credit cards. We must have spent ten minutes just digging up the right change for the tip.

All in all though, I think today was good for us three, and definately good for me. We had our day to scope out the city, and now we're a little more secure with our knowledge of the surrounding area than some of the kids coming in tomorrow. Orientation also starts tomorrow and we will be loaded with questions to pound into the IFSA-Butler staff about culture, shopping, eating, and especially eating out!

It's only about 8:30 pm, but I'm crashing. I'm very much looking foward to tomorrow. We'll be well rested and already semi-well acquainted with the city in time for Orientation, and I'm very hopeful that everything will run a lot smoother from here on out.

Apex International: Edinburgh pitstop #1

I'm finally here. It is just now noon here in Edinburgh. I'm at the Apex International hotel and found out they have COMPLIMENTARY INTERNET. These days complimentary internet is like finding out that Jesus crash landed on my doorstep. It's miraculous. Hauled around all the girls luggage out of the airport, into the cab and up the flight of stairs to the hotel front desk. Finally had a chance to take a breath and order my first beer in the UK. Anyway, gotta go explore. More later.

Anticipation

So I'm sitting here at my computer trying to organize this blog, thinking about what all it should encompass, meanwhile the surrounding desk and the rest of my bedroom appears to have vomited everything that I own into a shamble of clothes, books, papers that are probably extrememely important, a few action figures and a frisbee. So all in all, nothing too surprising.

Except that I've been stressing out all day. Despite all the productive packing and cleaning and organizing and shopping, I can't get over this looming feeling that no matter how much I get done, it isn't enough. There's something I'm not packing that I should be, there's a phone call I forgot to make, there's a check I forgot to write, there's people I'm forgetting to see. Maybe it's just the normal pre-three-month-trip-to-a-country-I've-never-seen-jitters, or maybe it's the self-confidence that I've lost from the countless costly mistakes and forgotten necessities. Either way, it seems that I've made the error once again of properly preparing further ahead of time, and I've come down to crunch time still unprepared and unwilling to leave.
I mean, what causes this? I'm supposed to be going on the trip of a lifetime, something I've been slowly planning for months and months, something that I wanted, that I still want. So why did I wait so long to pack? Why did I ignore all those delightful e-mails designed to prepare me for exactly what's happening right now? What am I so scared of? I've been out of the country before and survived, so what's the deal?
I think out of all the crap that's thrown around in my room, some of it probably lost forever in the endless abyss that is under my bed, the one thing that I'm missing the most.....is my BACKBONE. I think I'll find it before I leave on Monday, though. Probably hiding under the big pile of papers that I think are my tax returns....I just wish I had it now. I wish I knew exactly what I need to do, knew what I need to finish before I leave the U.S., and knew exactly how to do it.
But then again, where's the adventure in that? And that's what all this is supposed to be about right? Having an adventure from day one. Maybe having my backbone is just that: not knowing. Maybe it's being sure of nothing except that I'm going to make mistakes and that things are going to be far from perfect, and going through with it anyway. With experiences like these we just have to be as smart as we can with what we have, try to enjoy ourselves, and not ask for anything more. I don't think any amount of guide books, helpful e-mails or even previous international trips are going to fully prepare me for what I will find when I land in the Land of the Scots, but I think I can manage to have a good time.

Backbone, backbone....yup, found it. Now what'd I do with my passport?